


Nothing but Flames

by TheOneWithTheSpacePencil



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Firefighters, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Depressed Dean Winchester, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Inspired by Fanart, M/M, NO BETA WE DIE LIKE HEROES
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28428399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOneWithTheSpacePencil/pseuds/TheOneWithTheSpacePencil
Summary: If his mental conditions weren't already critical, Dean Winchester finds himself the only survivor of a fire that killed everyone there, and all of this just thanks to Castiel Novak, the fireman who, for some reason, keeps getting in his way.From Chapter 1:"When Dean Winchester woke up, the light was so intense he could barely see. He was moving, though. Someone was carrying him.His hears hurted, and everything was a confused and soundless blur. The first thing he could see almost properly was a face: incredibly blue eyes were looking at him with all their attention, black hair where moving with the wind and the red and orange lights projected so many shades and bright spots on his face that for a second Dean though his saviour was an angel."
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello y'all and thank you for clicking among all the Castiel Fanfictions!
> 
> First of all: I'm Italian and I'm still learning English, plus I have a sort of attention disorder, so if there are errors in the work just tell me in a comment and I will immediately fix it! I accept every critics if not aggressive.
> 
> Second: I'm new to the site, so I don't know how to put images in the chapters... As soon as I'll learn that I will put the fanart that inspired me!
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy 💞

In over ten years of service in the firemen, Castiel Novak never saw something so destructive like that night.

Everything in the range of three thousand foots was day-lighted, and the flames wrapped the building like some cruel sheets in a cradle.

He didn’t know why the fire burst out, but he didn't care, and neither did his mates. Even with their suits, Castiel and Lucifer could feel the heat.

The stairs were almost all collapsed and there was no way they could reach the other levels, but there were other flats in the ground floor, and they had to check.

Lucifet went to the first apartment at his left, and inside he found just two bodies under a heavy beam, all covered in fire. Lucifer didn't even try to get in, they were surely dead. 

Castiel moved to the right, towards a flat with the door burned almost completely and the door frame that was falling down with all the weight of the consumed wood above it.

Castiel glanced inside the apartment, before doing a gesture to his companion to move on. He regretted it immediately: there was someone in the living room.

The figure was laying on the couch, with a big part of the ceiling crumbled on top of him and the fire was spreading.

“I’m going in!” Was the only thing he could say while he sneaked in. Luckily for the figure that he identified as a man, the backrest didn't made the beams fall right on top of him, and Castiel could extract him almost easily.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Lucifer had reached him as soon as he heard the call, believing that his companion wouldn’t do something so stupid, considering that that apartment was the one in the worst conditions, but he saw him:

Castiel carried the man on his back, the ceiling falling on his head and the flames were getting worst as the time passed. Lucifer didn't dare step forward, seeing his mate basically crawling under new pieces of the building that kept coming down.

“Did you at least checked if he was alive first?!” But the answer was no. Lucifer wanted to kill that asshole and push his head against a wall as many times as he could.

In some way, they managed to come out of that hell of a building, with a body that they didn’t even know if was still alive.

Balthazar, Uriel and Anna were outside, trying to stop the fire with everything they had before the helicopter arrived. The fire was starting to infect even other buildings. Thank God Raphael had already evacuated the nearest structures.

When Dean Winchester woke up, the light was so intense he could barely see. He was moving, though. Someone was carrying him.

His hears hurted, and everything was a confused and soundless blur. The first thing he could see almost properly was a face: incredibly blue eyes were looking at him with all their attention, black hair where moving with the wind and the red and orange lights projected so many shades and bright spots on his face that for a second Dean though his saviour was an angel.

He couldn’t see more details, but now he could feel it: the burns, the extremely painful burns and bruises on his arms and back came back in his counsciousness and he tried his best not to pass out again.

 _“You're safe now”_ even if he couldn't hear a damn thing, Dean could see the blurred lips of the man saying something. He didn't catch what, but for some reason he felt… not better. No, almost anything could make him better with all he went through, but definitely more loose.

He was still alive. How? How could he be still alive? Was that part of his punishment, right?

Dean didn’t even realize he was crying right there, in what it seemed an ambulance. He didn’t realize it until they burned his skin for the temperature gap.

He was stuttering something without the ability to move, but the man who was keeping an hand in the back of his head didn't catch a single word, and Dean was grateful of that.

Soon, he passed out, dreaming about flames and death.

The first time Castiel went to the local hospital to see the man –in the hospital they recognized him as Dean Winchester–, he found another man standing next to him: he was rather tall, taller than him, and had long dark hair. He wore a military green jacket and kept his hands in his pockets, looking at Dean asleep in the bed.

Castiel made some steps into the room, making the other one turn in his direction.

“Hi. My name is Castiel Novak, I'm the one who rescued him.” His tone was a flat line, not proud, or arrogant. That was a tone of a man who simply did his job, and the man seemed to appreciate it.

“Oh, thank you! I'm Sam Winchester. He's my brother… I'm really grateful.” They shook hands. Sam had a little smile in his face but the eyes we’re incredibly sad. “They said that his flat is messed up more than the others and you still got inside without knowing if he was still alive…”

“I saw that the beams didn’t pressed on him too much and I figured out it was worth it. I was right.”

“You just saved my brother’s life, offer you a drink one of these days it's the least I can do.” Sam glanced at the bed.

“It's not a problem, really…” But the look the other one had was the one of a lost brother, a look that he knew too well, someone who desperately needs some distractions. “…ok. One day.”

Sam sighed, holding carefully the hand of his sleeping brother before going out. “Thank you” he just said.

The second time Castiel visited Dean, there was a man with a peaked hat and a beard. He looked pretty gruff, Castiel thought.

“What do you want?” the man didn’t recognized the fireman, so he was pretty suspicious. He knew everyone of Dean's friend.

“I'm Castiel Novak. I took him out of his apartment.” This time he was a bit more formal.

“So this is your sign?” He pointed at the handprints that marked Dean's shoulders. Castiel stopped breathing for a moment.

In the process, he gripped the guy too tight and he didn't register that since the burns covered pretty much all, but with them slowly healing, the hand-shaped bruises came evident.

He didn’t know how to respond to it.

The man went out, pretty much pissed off -more with the entire situation, than with Castiel. It looked like he knew more than he would admit-, and so the fireman.

The third time Castiel went to the hospital, Dean Winchester was awake. He was still in the bed, but seated, with brand-new bandages just changed.

“Hello, Dean” He said, “I see you are awake.”

“I feel like I'm gonna puke out my guts and my arms are gonna combust spontaneously, but yes, I'm awake.” Dean could recognize the man with just a glance. He wasn’t going to forget his face so easily, not after almost dying and find out that the angel he believed to see was a fireman who just saved his life.

“Please sit down, my neck hurts.” And Castiel did. There was a chair, near the bed. Probably one of the relatives he met the other days left it.

“I'm Castiel Novak, and I’m-“

“I know who you are. You saved me. Now what the hell do you want?”

“The police is going to ask questions, since the fire came out of your flat” the guy wasn't kind, so Castiel wasn't, but he wasn’t mean either. Dean just survived a fire, so it was normal just wanting pace. “I figured out that you could tell me what happened so I would tell the police and spare you their suspicious looks.”

“How many died?” The reply was immediate, but not what Castiel wanted.

“Excuse me… ?”

“I knew everyone in that building. Who died?”

“…almost all.” Said. The fireman had to respond, if he wanted Dean to talk too. It was mutual.

The list began:  
_Benny and Andrea Lafitte;_  
_Ash Lindberg;_  
_Ellen and Jo Harvelle;_  
_Alastair Heyerdahl;_  
_Bela Talbot;_  
_Asa Fox;_  
_Victor Henricksen;_  
_Gordon Walker;_  
_Tessa McKeon;_  
_Lisa Braeden._

“…while Ben Braeden is in a coma since the fire.”

Dean didn’t answer. He just looked outside the window of the room, silently.

They were dead, and it was all his fault.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, don't hesitate to correct me if you see some errors... And enjoy!

There was a thin layer of silence between the two, and Castiel decided to let Dean break it when he was ready, taking those moments to study the other.

His face was now clear from the soot, with small burning every now and then, and the right ear was totally covered by a bandage, just like his arms. Probably his hands were the most damaged ones.

Castiel talked with the doctor who took care of him, Dr. Ephraim, and he said that Dean's right ear was totally deaf due an explosion, and for the treatments that they had to use on him he was lucky his brother Sam was a successful lawyer who could afford the bill. 

“The… the gas things, the cookers… They leaked. The gas exploded. That's all.” At least, that was what Dean wanted to believe to, what he told himself because the truth hurted even more.

“Thank you, Dean.” The silence returned, and Castiel decided to go.

Lucifer waited for his mate outside the hospital, a dark shadow on his face. When Castiel got out with a light smile, he put an arm around his shoulders and tugged at him to a different direction instead of the one Castiel was going to.

“What-“

“Shut up.” The blonde one said “why the fuck are you like this.” His tone was half angry half desperately sarcastic.

“What do you mean…?” Castiel was genuinely confused.

“Why do you keep coming here? Why do you keep visiting him?” He tried to keep his voice low and calm, but the veil of rage stayed there “it's not the first person you save like this, and neither the first time you come here to see him!”

“How do you know?”

“Not important, Cas. What's important, is what is gotten into you. You can’t throw yourself in hell everytime you see someone under a pile of fucking fire. He could've been dead!”

“But he isn’t-“

“Kelly was.” That. That was definitely too much even for Castiel's infinite patience. “And you almost died with her-“

Castiel pushed Lucifer away roughly, tightening his teeth. “Enough, Lucifer. Thank you for your concern, but I do not need it.” And walked away as fast as he could without run. Kelly was a still open wound, even after three years.

When Dean got dismissed, he wasn’t allowed to drive. He didn’t give a fuck, actually, and he would've drive anyway, if it wasn’t for Sam keeping his damn mint-lawyerbreath on his damn neck all the _damn_ time.

Dean wasn’t a child, he was a soldier, in a real battlefield, not in some crappy room with a guy with a fancy wig. This made him angry: Sam compared shooting some manual-lines to shooting with an actual gun. Their father was a soldier in the army too. He saved lives. He was an hero.

“Dean? Dean!” His brother kept saying his name for a while from the driving seat of the Impala, waking him up from his trance with a click of his tongue. “Dean we're almost there. Try to, I don't know, _fake_ a smile? I'm trying my best…”

“I would if you just let me fucking _drive_ MY baby.”

“I cannot do that. They said your hands are the most damaged part with your ear and-“

“I do not have a proper grip, whatever, I don't care.”

“Dean you are half _deaf_ , at least try and fake some concern.” Sam was on the verge of hitting him; the only thing stopping him was the bandages still wrapped tight around his brother's hands.

“I don't care. And you know what? I'm gonna order a beer and you ain’t gonna stop me.” Sam almost shouted at him -the doctors said “no alcohol” for at least two weeks. His body had to recover from severe wounds, adding a hangover wasn’t recommended-, when Dean basically screamed: “parking!” to direct the conversation another way.

Dean needed to go out, Sam knew it. He stayed with him the whole week after he got out of the hospital, even took some free days from work to take care of him.

Sam offered to go somewhere, but everyone of Dean's suggestion included alcohol and/or hook ups, so he denied, and for revenge, Dean started tormenting him in every way possible: “Sammy I need coffee! Sammy make me dinner! Sammy go to the grocery! _Sammy my back itches!_ ”

And that was when his saviour called.

The second time he met Castiel Novak, was still at the hospital, but he was leaving. They stopped talking a bit, turns out Castiel had just stopped talking with his brother, and so Sam thought to give him his number, for the beer he own him, and he really called. Sam called if he did mind Dean with them, and Castiel's tone seemed indifferend, like he hoped for it, so no problems came out.

Or, well, almost no problems. Dean didn’t know that the fireman was coming too.

It was hell. The Lawrence's Firemen Central Station became Castiel's personal hell after Lucifer began to do his stupid jokes. At first it was only annoying, they were full grown adults, but the jokes spread to another young unit just came out of the academy, and they followed Lucifer’s words like a gospel, and believed that risking his life like Castiel did was utterly stupid.

And so the thing evolved to the point that he couldn’t walk through the Central without some inconvenient, and exactly because they were childish jokes -like a bucket of water above the doorframe, or itching powder- it was even more frustrating, and couldn’t be reported because they were, in fact, small jokes. Lucifer was a total kid, and he was older than him.

When he remembered the number Sam gave him, he almost melted on the spot. Some pace. And when the man asked him if Dean could come, he was quite pleased, but masked him well enough without realizing it.

Maybe it was just the awkward thought of it, but Castiel was a but anxious. 

He wasn’t exactly a social type, even if he liked to check on who he saved, but it was usually just them thanking him an then him leaving, not a complete list of the victims he read so many times he ended up knowing by memory, or seeing the face you saw contorted by the years now full serious.

He could never forget that moment: when they got out, before the ambulance arrived, the grip the guy had on his suit was so strong to keep Castiel from get up away from him. He saw Dean slowly waking up, and took his helmet off. 

He started crying, turning it from a shock cry to an ugly one, so desperate he could barely breathe between a sob and another, so full of guilt it started to weight even in Castiel's heart, and maybe was for that that he trembled to know other parts of him.


	3. Chapter 3

Great. The last thing Dean needed was the constant reminder of the fire that killed his best friend, one of his ex girlfriends –they had a good relationship, after all–, and many others. Oh, and sent Ben in a coma. Lisa always said that Ben wasn’t his biological son, but Dean knew that that was a lie.

Ben was just too similar to him: his eyes, his love for cars, his constant energy, the desire to never feel powerless… she said that just not to make him feel guilty.

With the job Dean had, he wasn’t home for a big amount of time, and plus not always they had the assurance of him coming back safe, or coming back at all, that was why their story didn't work. 

They had dismissed him from the army due his diagnosis –Sam forced him to one of those brainwasher who said he was depressed–, but duh, he was perfectly fine. He knew himself, he was fine, he didn’t need any of that pile of crap they prescribed him. He could deal with his dad’s death alone without anyone pretending to care or to know what was best for him.

Sam greeted the fireman with a handshake, while Dean blatered something and immediately headed for the bar. For all the first five minutes they were seated together, Dean stared at Castiel with the intention of making him uncomfortable, but Castiel stared back and they both just stared at each other right in the eyes.

“So- uhm, Castiel… It's- it's quite an unusual name.” Sam tried to cough away the sudden tension that formed in the table.

As said, Castiel’s “people skill” where rusty, and it took him some seconds to figure out what Sam was asking him. “Oh. My father is a very religious man, and when me and my brother were born, he insisted to call at least one of us with an unusual angel name.”

“You have a brother?” _Thank God the situation was getting lighter._

“Yes.” He hesitated a second “His name is James. Jimmy. We are twins, actually.” Silence. 

The waitress came near with her light smile, “what do I bring boys?” 

“A beer and…?” Sam said immediately, waiting for Castiel’s answer, but the next to talk was actually Dean: “Two beers.”

“…three. Thank you.” Concluded the fireman. Sam wanted to cut off Dean's smug grin. In a literal way.

When silence came again, he remembered the words of his friend Gabriel: _”if you don't know what to say, repeat the question you've been asked.”_ “And yours?”

“Well, we are named after your grandparents. Mother's side. Samuel and Deanna.” Dean sigghed. He never bear with him being named after the woman. Sam had his low key revenge for Dean's alcohol tragression.

Actually, Castiel meant about brothers, but that was kinda stupid since they were brothers, so thank Sam to have misunderstood the question.

When the beers came, the atmosphere seemed to loosen a bit, and it was really good. Sam told about his imminent marriage with Jessica, Dean faked to puke for how sweet it was, and Castiel told them how much of an idiot Lucifer was, omitting that he started that prank war because of Dean's rescue.

But there was something strange: Castiel kept looking all around, or behind them, and still he was listening and responding to them. Sometimes he asked them to repeat some sentences, but it wasn’t so invasive.

“Ehy Little Match Seller, quit staring at the walls our mouths and eyes are here.” Every occasion was good to Dean to emotionally punch someone. Or, well, just punch someone.

Castiel didn’t seemed to be offended though, “I'm sorry if this upsets you. I suffer from ADD, ‘attention deficit disorder'. I often can’t concentrate and get distracted by the smallest things, so I'm sorry if it bothers you.” The dead-seriousness in his voice seemed to be really apologetic, and Dean didn’t know how to respond if not with a small “…nothing”.

Castiel's eyes were fixed on Dean's this time.

And now he felt guilty. He felt like he said to a blind man to see or to an asthmatic person to just breathe. He said to someone with an attention disorder to concentrate. Great way to say 'thank you because I'm still here thanks to you'.

In reality, Castiel was really sorry about this. He forgot to take his pills for the disorder, due the disorder –great isn’t it?– and he felt sorry if he got in his head and stared at random points, or couldn’t register parts of the conversation. 

ADD wasn’t just this, obviously: it was entering in a room and forget why you're there, it was get hyperfixated on something like a musician, or an activity, it was lack of concentration during study and lessons he wasn’t iterested in, and sometimes trouble at sit still while talking about something he really liked, or overthinking, or crying for this overthinking, or passing hours doing nothing and hours doing more than you should normally do without realizing how much time passed, or passing between periods of depression and guilt and periods of normality, or forgetting something as soon as you thought it, or don't always catch irony or sarcasm, or difficulty to connect with the reality, it was one of the reasons he choose the fireman job, to have something very real to keep him with his feet on the ground and… he was overthinking again.

“Since we were talkin' about asshole coworkers,” Sam came in help once again, “tomorrow I have an important trial and I think you know the rival attorney. His name is Gabriel Shurley, we had like… five or six other cases against each other and it seems he does it on purpose.” And tried to laugh at it. He was pretty annoying, actually.

“Oh yes. Gabriel is actually a… friend of mine. He's one of Lucifer's brothers.” Their situation was kinda delicate: Lucifer was the oldest brother, then Michael, then Gabriel and then Raphael, who was adopted. Gabriel was right in the middle of an eternal fight between his brothers.

Michael followed their dad's desire becoming a banker, rich enough to sustain Chuck Shurley and himself. Lucifer hated all the control their dad wanted on them, so he did the furthest thing from a banker he could think of, and Raphael followed him after failing too many times to be like Michael.

Gabriel wanted pretty much just being left alone and live in peace, so he chose the thing that combined assure him money, some self protection from the law, and the thing he could do best: talking big.

“So you go back to work tomorrow?” There was an hint of hope in Dean's voice.

“Yes, I am…” Sam sighed, knowing perfectly why his brother wanted to be alone: strippers and alcohol, just like the past months. He would’ve stayed longer with Dean, but it was an important case he couldn’t miss. His concern was evident.

“I… I took some free days. I could keep an eye on him when you can’t.” That was Castiel.

Dean was speechless. Unique event. “…are you joking?” He wasn’t a damn kid, he could do what he wanted! Sammy would never accept something like this, right? They barely knew the man!

“You really would?” He was happy. Sam was happy. Was that asshole hoping for this?!


	4. Chapter 4

“Don't you even _fucking_ dare! I'm not a child!” Dean couldn’t accept something so humiliating like a fucking _babysitter_.

“Funny, because only children do not listen to doctors.” Sam poker face froze both Dean and Castiel. “I accepted it when dad died, because you needed distractions, but right now? You need to _rest_ , real rest, and if you wanna be a child and do not respect some simple instructions, then you need a babysitter since daddy's not home.”

The next morning, Castiel took the longest way to John Winchester’s address, so he didn’t pass near the Firemen Station.

Since Dean's house burned down, he lived in their dad's one. Sam's was too small for him too, and Jess would have gone crazy if she had to deal with that ticking bomb called “Dean Winchester”.

Castiel knocked at the door once, twice, three times before ringing the doorbell. He heard heavy footsteps, and the knob started to turn, slowly opening the door. Dean just woke up, and his messy hair were a proof of it, with the tired eyes.

And if Dean was still with a loose t-shirt and a pair of boxers, shoulders curved ahead, Castiel was definitely formal: a suit was wrapped around his body, with a beige trench coat that was maybe too big even for him.

“…get in.” The soldier said, making some steps back. Castiel had a small bag with him. “So? What are you gonna do? Just… sit somewhere and watch me?”

“If you don’t have problems with it.”

“…Cas, I was ironic.” The fireman tilted his head to one side, confused. “And I'm not gonna call you with that religious fanatic name, it seems like a joke.”

They passed the next two hours in complete silence. At first, Cas stayed still, then Dean made him sit because it was kinda weird. If Dean was on the couch, Cas was still in a chair, without even fidgeting.

“Dude you're creepy. Did you at least blink?” In the meantime, Dean put on some trousers. “Did you ever saw Rocky?”

“No, actually.”

“Oh come on! It's a classic!”

“…I don't see so many movies.” _It’s too fast, I can't follow the story._

“Come here. If you have to be my creepy guardian angel at least be comfortable.” This made something click into Cas' mind. He started checking in his coat's pockets, more and more furiously when he couldn’t find what he was searching. “…try in the bag?” Said the Soldier. It was the only thing where he didn’t checked, like he forgot he got it.

Cas let out a relief sigh, taking out a little white box that Dean could recognize everywhere: it was some sort of medicine. “Uhm… I… can I have a glass of water, please?” It was so innocent that Dean felt the sudden desire to melt.

“Sure,” the soldier got up, heading to the kitchen. It was actually a small house, but it was ok for two people “what is that for?”

“The ADD. It helps with concentration.” Cas followed him opening the little box and taking out the pill's container.

Dean took the plastic bottle with the water, and he felt his hands trembled with the weight of it, but he tried his best to mask it. He opened it. He begun to pour it. The weight became suddenly too much, and the grip of his fingers wavered. The bottle hit the table, enptying on it and on the floor before Cas could take it.

While the other was swearing with his teeth grinned, the fireman filled his glass, taking the medicine. “I'm… fuck, I'm sorry…” Dean wanted to be shotted “I… I couldn't…” _I couldn’t hold it. My hands couldn’t hold it._

Gladly, Cas seemed to know without him ending the sentence.

At the end, the evening wasn’t so bad. It was more boring than a good night with strippers, but it wasn’t bad. They ended up watching Rocky's first three films, and Cas made strangely pertinent questions. The only weird thing, was Cas sitting too close at the beginning, but it fixed with the time.

Dean cooked lunch. Not for some other reason, but Cas seemed utterly lost, so he took a step ahead. 

He started humming Metallica, and when the other asked him what song was, Dean opened his eyes so much they could pop out. “Under what rock did you lived since now?” But he didn’t respond.

Sam got out of the court dripping with sweat. It was going wrong, so wrong he had the incredible want to tear something apart. What was worst, Shurley took that as a joke. He had an incredible gab, and he seemed like he didn’t put effort in it, like the only one that was actually sweating.

He felt an hand touching his shoulder, and smiled when he realized the figure with black hair was Eileen, the friend he was helping. The trial was to sentence Eileen's parents' killer.

“I'm sorry, I can’t…”

“Don’t worry, you're doing your best.” Eileen was totally deaf since birth, and her parents where killed while she was at school, almost fifteen years ago. The case was going expired, this was the last chance to put the woman with the blood red dress in jail.

Even if she tried to mask it, Eileen was on the verge of tears, and while Sam hugged her, he never hated more an attorney he was against.

After some minutes like this, Sam took the papers with the informations of the case, and went out in the smoke area. Dean didn’t knew he smoked. It was something occasional, to relax him during particularly hard trials, but even a cigarette wouldn’t calm him when Gabriel Shurley joined him.

Everything of him was annoying, and Sam hated what was annoying of him. “What do you want?”

“What? Can’t I smoke in peace?” His voice was annoying. His tone was annoying, is posture, even the brand of his cigarette was annoying.

“Then why you didn’t come before?” _I came after exactly to avoid you._

“Aw Winchester, such a flirt.” And he laughed. He fucking laughed.

“Do you at least know how important this case is? How important EVERY case we follow is?! We follow murders, frauds, not some sort of jokes. You are defending a _killer!_ ” Sam put the documents aside, standing up. His height made him considerably taller than the other man, who didn’t even flinch. Gabriel knew that Sam wouldn’t do anything.

“Oh I did. I know she's guilty.”

“Then why did you took it?!”

Sam was expecting every human and awful reason: money, prestige, favours… but he remembered Castiel's words: _Gabriel want to live a peaceful life._ Not a life under the lights, not the life of a famous and rich lawyer. He wants the life of a peaceful person without particular enemies or friends.

“Because I like you, Samuel. Because you’re wrong sometimes, and I know when one of my clients is really guilty. I do my job Sam: putting the bads in the cage.”

“…our job is to protect who pays.” Sam knew, that if someone would knew about that mentality, Gabriel would be screwed because none would go to him anymore. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I know you won’t tell anyone else, because you agree with me. I know you Sam, more than you think,” The tall one didn’t know what to say, he was totally speechless “now, look at page 6, doesn’t it look familiar?”

And Sam did. Suddenly, Gabriel's presence was bearable.

Sam read that page again and again, and then that same line. How could he be so stupid?! Gabriel wasn’t standing outside of a giant and heavy door to prevent Sam's entrance, no: Gabriel was opening it for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter too ♥   
> If there are errors, let me know, and if you leave kudos comment in general, I'm more than happy ♥


	5. Chapter 5

Sam won.

The woman was sentenced as guilty. Eileen's parents' killer was in jail for an amount of years that made someone dizzy just with the thought of it.

There was a detail that was never mentioned, a little crack in the wall that Gabriel seemed to build, but he let that for Sam to break that wall. And he did.

Gabriel lost on propose.

It was so unreal that he felt like some butterflies on fire were roaming in his organs.

On the other side, Dean craved some time alone without his brother, who had to return to work. Sam's answer was: “when you will get another job”, counting on Dean's common sense to not go find a job with his conditions.

Bold of him to assume that Dean had a common sense.

Dean didn’t have some particular study title, but had a military certification. The cops were the closest thing to an army, but they were too lazy in his mind, so he thought to the other closest thing to an army: the firefighters.

Yes, Dean got to know how funny Lucifer’s jokes were, and how fucking annoying were his new teammates, because apparently he was the new one and he had to stay with the new ones. Everyone of them was a little puppet in Lucifer’s hands, Jesus he already hated them.

There was that Azazel, a complete fanatic: found something to follow, and immediately he was an obedient puppy who did everything and more for his dear Luci.

There was Abbadon, maybe the smartest one of them, because she followed Lucifer but with a bit of critics. Damon was pretty much the same, but she acted totally alone and took her responsibility if she got caught.

Asmodeus was the little one, who followed the big boys because he wanted to be cool. Disgusting.

But the worst of all was Ramiel. 

Ramiel wanted only to be left alone, and didn’t do anything on both sides: he didn’t help Lucifer, but neither Cas, and he was let alone. Dean hated him the most: if there was something he couldn’t bear in a person, was his indiference to something. That was kinda the problem when Sammy became a lawyer: they got paid, and did their best. They got to side to side depending on who had more money, not if their mind told them something was good or bad.

Dean would’ve liked Gabriel, who let himself lose in a trial if someone was really guilty or innocent. Well, that was what Sam thought. On those days, he couldn’t think of anything if not what the rival attorney said and what he did, and everything was much more clearer about their previous cases. 

Sam didn’t told anyone about their little chat, not even Jess or Dean, just like Gabriel said: he wouldn’t say that to no one.

Since his brother couldn’t still drive, Sam had to pick him up. He went with a pullman the morning, but Sam wanted to took him because he was lowkey scared that he would faint in the pullman back.

When he arrived to the Station, he got even more scared when discovered that Dean run away with Castiel mere minutes before he got there.

Since Dean didn’t want to pass all the day with his dumb mates, he found a way to sneak in in Cas' unit's room. He felt like back in high school, ugh.

Bonus point, Balthazar was a good drinking buddy. Raphael always tried to remind them it was a serious job and they shouldn’t be drinking, but who cares of those bla bla blas?

Anna, apparently. Damn if Anna was hot, one of those days he would definitely ask her out.

There were also Uriel, who was kinda the boss of that squad, so Dean tried not to get caught by him; and Lucifer obviously. Lucifer was a total motherfucker. A smart, total motherfucker.

As soon as their turn was over, Cas received a call, his usually serious face turning into a mask of total discomfort. “…yeah, I'm coming.”

He looked at Dean as if it was painful to ask him that: “I… I need a passage.”

“…what”

“I don't… I don't have a licence, my brother works near here and he had to pic me up back but he will end his turn within an hour and the pullman with take too long, I need…”

“Uh, ok, but I don't have a car either-“ this confused Dean, and not just a bit.

“My brother's car. I have the keys.”

So Dean drove. He wasn’t supposed to, but hell he felt well no matter what those idiots said, and he drove to the local high school, in complete silence, with a worried Cas who kept looking out the window holding his trench coat's fabric with force.

When Cas went back in the car after he entered the school, almost an hour later, a kid was with him. He was blond, tall, and his expression reminded Dean of Lucifer for some reason.

The kid slipped into the backseats, with a rather piss off Cas. At first Dean thought that Cas was angry with that boy -he was 16, not older-, but he was wrong.

“Cas… they were right, don't worry-“

“Shut up Jack. They weren’t. None is allowed to… To put you into that mess.”

“They are my friends, they just wanted a proof that-“

“That what? That you were loyal? That you fucking threw yourself into _the fucking rails_ and got of at the last second thanks to a cop who pulled you, because _you froze and couldn’t get out on your own?_ ”

For what Dean had understood, that was some big shit, considering that he never heard Cas swearing. Not that they knew each other for long, but he had the strange feeling like he knew him well enough.

“Jack, who asks you to do something like that…” his tone was now calmer, kinder “who ask for a sign of loyalty, who hurt you… they're not you friends. They do not love you.” Cas wasn’t angry with Jack, no.

Cas was angry with himself. Jack Kline was Kelly's son, the son that Gabriel helped him take the custody of in a tribunal against Lucifer. Kelly wanted Castiel to take care of him, but Lucifer claimed to be the father, so he opened a trial that Castiel won thanks to Gabe.

The problem was, Castiel didn’t know how to be a father. He never was in a long term relationship, he never had experiences with children except his niece Claire, Jimmy's daughter, but he didn’t know how to raise one, he was lost, even with his brother's advices, and he didn’t dare ask his own father.

Zachariah Novak was more than clear: if Castiel wanted to get back, he had to find himself a wife and quit with that cure that was “against God's laws”. Castiel wouldn’t ever quit with the medicines for the ADD, so he just moved away. Jimmy, luckily, even if was father's favourite, never stopped loving his brother, and helped him as he could. He even managed to find a job in his same town.

So no, Castiel didn’t know how to be a father.


	6. Chapter 6

With some cusses on his lips, Sam got out of the Firemen Station, calling Dean profusely.

He noticed, through, Castiel standing next to an empty parking lot. In the distance he could recognize an office suit, and the way he moved… he seemed different, in someway. When he got closer, the Castiel turned around with an expression that definitely wasn’t Castiel's.

Sam needed a bit to connect his informations: “Uh… James Novak, I suppose?” James was Castiel's twin.

The man smiled softly “Jimmy, please. I assume you are Dean or Sam…?”

“Sam, actually” how Jimmy knew them, was something for another time. First thing first, his brother. “Did you saw my brother, by the way? At the Station they said Dean followed Castiel…” Jimmy seemed to realize something with an extreme sigh.

“Cas has my car's keys because he ends work before me, but he can’t drive… he said there was something urgent but didn’t say what… Dean is driving.” He sighed, pressing an hand on his neck nervously. “I'm so sorry, I know your brother conditions…”

Speak of the devil, Sam's phone received a call. Dean's call. He responded as soon as he saw it: “Where are you?!”

“’m driving back at the Station, don’t worry” his voice sounded angry, but not with Sam. Dean would've lied if he said Jack's fact didn’t affected him.

_”You are CALLING me while you're driving?!”_

“Relax, you are on the speaker!”

“Dean you can't even hold a beer without trembling!” Sam basically screamed into the phone. He could feel a vein pulsing on his forehead, and he could swear to God his brother would've been the death of him.

“Well I'm almost there, so…”

A couple of minutes later, a car pulled off near them, and Jimmy seemed to recognize it. They both sighed in relief when their brothers came out of the car, with a young blond boy with his back curved.

“I apologize for the inconvenience Sam, it was a matter of extreme importance and I wouldn’t ask Dean something like that if it wasn’t…” Castiel said, a hint of guilt in his voice, but Sam rolled off with it. Normally he would've been mad, but when he saw the kid –round face covered in bruises– he felt a shiver of pity that drained his rage off.

“Don’t worry.”

Once in their car, Sam could feel Dean's discomfort saturating the air. “What's up? You're silent.”

“Not your business.”

“If it made you drive with those burnings, then yes it is.”

“I said it's not.” The sound was so firm that Sam couldn’t complain, because when Dean used that to me, it meant there was something big, and private, and probably about that kid. 

The look on his face, Sam thought, was so deluded, and sad, almost like the kid thought he wasn’t worth what he needed. It reminded Sam that time his father took Dean with him in the training camp, without him because he was too young. John was a soldier, like Dean was. It wasn’t a problem, Sam was used to be alone at home, even if he usually was with Dean, but that day it felt emptier than ever. It was Sam's tenth birthday, and they forgot.

Dean didn’t, actually, but chose to go anyway, because he always asked his father to go with him, and he couldn’t lose that opportunity. Sam didn’t blamed him: Dean was young too, and he wasn’t allowed to be selfish so often. It was John he couldn’t forgive. He didn’t remember at all, and it hurted.

That kid –Sam still didn’t know his name was Jack– reminded of himself too much. Reminded of the empty feeling he got that day, the way he was so happy, the way he thought he finally would get to spend some time with his dad too, maybe go together in the museum Sam knew was in town. He asked to visit it so many times he forgot, but John always declined. Sam figured out to ask during his birthday: none could deny a kid his birthday present!

But when he got to John –eyes glowing with excitement and aspectation–, asking what day was that day, John didn’t remember. The weight of the delusion was so much Sam's next words died in his throat, and he went in the other room. Before he knew he started crying.

They never got to visit that museum, with all those old paintings and statues.

Jack kept staring out of the car's window all the time, Cas and Jimmy in perfect silence. They asked him to clarify and to explain what happened, and Jack had to spit it out with tears in his eyes. He didn’t want to cry, he didn’t want to be weak again, but the sadness and the hole in his heart that kept telling him he was worthless even watching didn’t agreed with his wanting.

There was a group of friends, in Jack's class, their boss' name was Belph, but he hated it so everyone called him ‘Belphagore’. From an outer prospective, it was cringe as hell, but for Jack it was hella cool. He wanted to be in that group, hanging out with them on the streets… he tried to get closer even if they pushed him back. Jack wanted friends, wanted someone to talk to. Wanted someone his age to talk to. 

He always felt cold, but when Belphagor started talking to him, he felt so good it almost hurted. None got near him, he was the strange one, Jack had ADHD, and everyone were influenced by that fact. They thought Jack was stupid, or whatever kept them away.

They used him as their personal maid: Jack kept their bags, bought them things at the vending machines with his money, and Jack didn’t complain because they talked to him. It was like he didn’t even notice the laughter in their voice when they made him trip with their water that spilled all over him, and he had to bought it again, or when he made them their homework, even if he shouldn’t due his disorder.

One day, Belphagor announced a party at his house. Everyone was invited, and Jack felt himself flying on the clouds, and the only thing he has to do to get to that party was the proof he was loyal! He just needed to skip school stand on the rails, and get away only at the last second.

Once on the spot, with the train incoming, Jack froze. He couldn’t move, the fear was paralyzing him, and suddenly he felt calmer than ever. His life wasn’t worth living from his prospective. He missed so many thing he couldn’t get back: having a mother; having a father; being a normal child with normal needs and without disorders; having that childhood friend that would’ve been with him all his life; a body, and a mind, without bruises and scars.

Then a hand pulled him back forcefully, and a police officer saved him from the train. Jack first instinct once out of his trance was to look around, see if Belphagor’ a the others were around, see if he did good, if he could go to the party, if the officer's intervention ruined everything… but they weren’t there. 

When he got back to school with the officer, he discovered they went back to school long before.

Jack wasn’t even worth watching die.


End file.
